Avoiding the crabs in the bucket and other thots

"Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them."
W. Clement Stone
1902-2002, Author and Businessman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This really struck me today--
My Dad knew this, I remember being a young teenager and my sister was with people not 'doing the right thing" --even though she wasn't engaged in what they were doing, my father tried to instill in her this principle--at the initial level, if you hang around people, say smoking and drinking, A. People will assume that you are as well which then eventually leads to B. You become like them. As teenagers, we didn't quite "get it" but that's not unusual :) I get it now..

than it came to me--
I am working on my attitude, becoming the person that God made me to be--to be joyful in all things and to trust in Him.....

When people change, those around them are often uncomfortable, things happen to challenge those new behaviors, some from those very close to you, some from the world in general --the world is full of pain (As Les Brown says, "If you're gonna hurt anyway, may as well get some mileage out of it) The effort to avoid getting hurt is a useless gesture-so, I am working on "spinning it" to quote Cheryl Ables..to spin negative ideas, thoughts, situations etc into a more positive state.....at one point in my life I thought that idea was odd, almost like ignoring the pain and hurt...being positive about hurt was like just ignoring it and pretending it didn't happen....

I was so wrong---NOT spinning it just makes you stew in your own pain, pain--negativity--anger---those emotions just fester...they eat at your soul and spirit...and eventually kill you. SO NOT where I want to be----

During personal training seminars I kept hearing that to be make change, you have to change--that your income is usually the average of the 5 closest people you hang out with..I always thought that a little "odd"--I mean, how can what people I know influence how much money I can earn.....???

but it does...the crabs in a bucket concept--
crabs are tenacious crustaceans---having lived in close proximity to the Jersey Shore most of my life, I have had much opportunity to see this in action....

One crab in the bucket, it will scramble out, so you need a lid--get 2 or more in there and you can throw the lid away, not one escapes! One crab scrambles, the other pulls it back down, then another one tries to scramble up the sides of the bucket, and it gets pulled down

...like "who needs enemies with friends like that, always dragging you down to their level? I took a look around me at the people I am closest to....
in many ways, it really opened my eyes--kind of like, I once was blind but now I see..

Negativity surrounds me--all I need to do is go to my JOB every day to see it....sick people, well people ( well is a relative term BTW), the need to drag others down, to talk down successes to think badly about people with money and success--etc etc etc--people downgrade what they don't have..

The change in my thinking life is that Yes, I am a child of the living God, there is a plan and a purpose for my being on earth here and now...I don't have to behave in the ways that I have in the past, the past does not equal the future! Thank God!! and I don't have to hang out with people that appear to thrive on negativity because it feeds their own feels of self worth/worthlessness etc etc.

So, I am positive minded, if you wanna be a crab, go for it!! But you won't pull me down :) Not the easiest thing to do on a daily basis when the crabs outnumber you 10 to 1 :) Today I choose to seek out people that are being successful, not just a $$$ issue but successful in LIFE---those who are happy, have raised good kids, love their families, their spouse.....it is those people I want relationship with----

Now if I personally KNOW you and you're reading this here, have heart, I am not going to diss everyone I know :) Nor does it mean because I know you that I wholly believe you are negative and I want to stay away...just know that I am on a journey and those along the way are welcome to join me---life out of the pit is really a nicer place to live.......